Odd Mad Lib

This is a weird one my friend made:

Dear Xio,

I don’t really know how to tell you this…You’re a leprechaun. I think I realized it When I saw the purple monkey At the mental hospital and I saw you Drive over My salt-beef bucket. I’m sure you’re Middle-class enough to understand That your Ford sucks. I’m returning The couch cushions to you, but I’ll keep Your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I Always will remember the pep talks and The apartment building is on fire.

With tears of sadness,
Gimpy